I am responsible for all this madness and my name is Madeira Desouza. I am a gay male illustrator who uses digital technology to express my inner visions of macho men. This site is unique. Few illustrators who create images for gay adult men take the time to create a centralized place online where they can share their works and interact with you, explaining the hows and whys behind the creative process. Learn more about who I am in my profile and by browsing my sexually explicit blog.

Shaped by Ancient Cultures

Most people probably would rather deny or never consider that fear, evil, violence and sex have a linkage. But, that linkage is there to be found.

If you are educated and have studied the history of the ancient world, you already know this. The Romans and Greeks taught mankind much about such things. The passage of time over the centuries has not produced more peaceful and less violent men.

The heterosexual majority certainly may choose to shun depictions of male instincts and behaviors towards other males involving fear, violence, and sexuality.

Some gay males may also may be turned off by this subject matter. But, if you are a gay adult male who has been educated about how men from ancient times to today truly behave, then you are someone who knows what’s what.

The work that I do has been influenced and informed by the established traditions of underground artists who have depicted masculine males in surrealistic ways for a gay adult male audience using exaggerated male body traits and extreme, improbable situations and misadventures, often involving danger, peril and intense crisis.

Violence as Subject Matter



I witnessed a performance intended for the entertainment of tourists near Las Vegas, Nevada that depicted a hung cowboy at the end of a noose. I was inspired to explore this violent subject with the added dimension of erotic asphyxiation in one of my illustrations.

On a related issue of violent executions of men, I also have created controversial images of men on the cross.

Five Storytelling Elements

When you look at my imagery, you typically will encounter highly masculine guys who otherwise look like they are physically strong and they seem to be men who are, or should be, in control of themselves and their fate. But, what you often find instead is the depicted male finds himself in a perilous situation where these are terrible circumstances that affect him both physically and emotionally:

• (1) He is no longer in control and he knows it.


• (2) He can neither say nor do anything to change what will happen to him next.
• 

(3) He is forced to listen to and obey someone from whom he would prefer to escape immediately.


• (4) He is completely naked, so he is unprotected and defenseless against physical harm.


• (5) He is physically and emotionally trapped and cannot escape.

These are the five elements of dramatic tension that I employ in my illustrations to tell stories that explore bad things happening to highly masculine men in peril.

I am pleased to present illustrations in a gallery that all exemplify the theme of masculine men in peril.

Gallery commands: “SL” button starts the Slideshow. “FS” button displays gallery in Full Screen mode. “i” button displays the text description.

When I was a boy, I was profoundly impressed with two Spanish artists, Dali and Miro, whose works are in the surrealism genre. Of course, surreal art is not for everyone, but from a very young age, I was hopelessly attracted to surrealism as a way of expressing oneself.

When I became an adult, this interest in surreal depictions led me to explore the work of underground artists, who produced erotic visual works specifically for gay adult males. The imagery of highly masculine men that I create today is linked directly to established traditions in creating imagery that appeals to devotees of the gay fetish.

Spend some time exploring these erotic imagery traditions here today and I guarantee that I will open your eyes to a bold and a stunning world not our own. Few other places online can offer gay adult men such a quick, yet intensive, introduction to erotic imagery traditions. So please, jump in and enjoy your explorations!

Start by looking into the Greek and Roman influences and then consider these gay male artists, listed here in alphabetical order: Blondbear produces realistic erotic imagery for gay adult males, including interracial coupling, which is not the conventional approach. A German artist named Bondageskin creates unforgettable works for gay male adults depicting aroused men at their executions.   Etienne was an American artist whose hand-drawn images will make a lasting impression on all gay men. Greasetank, from Texas, produced many violently erotic images for gay adult males using 3D digital tools during his short lifetime.   Hasegawa & Tagame from Japan have an approach and style that is unlike anything gay men have seen before.       The Hun is an American artist whose macho male characters for a gay adult male audience behave very badly and shoot their loads quite visibly. Kurt Lundqvist is someone you may not have heard of yet. His highly masculine male depictions are not necessarily erotic, but gay men will find them worth exploring.   McPhee, from London, is a 3D digital artist and storyteller of interest to gay men because he demonstrates a strong respect and admiration for highly masculine males. Greasetank passed away, but gay men know that the heir apparent is Telamon, whose 3D digital renders explore the erotic dimensions of executions of men. Tom of Finland is perhaps the most famous of the erotic gay male artists of the 20th century.   And, alphabetically, Ulf is last, but he is a genius in using 3D digital tools to create brutally violent works of erotica. He deservedly holds a strong position at the very top of the list of prolific 3D digital artists who produce works for gay adult men.

You can explore this subject further by using this website’s extensive LINKS section for gay adult men.

Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

During elementary school, I had been taught that my country, the United States, was civilized and peaceful. How could I reconcile these teaching with what I knew from my reading? I discovered during my reading at the public library how hangings had been held in the 19th century in the United States. Some of these executions were done by vigilantes–white men who used hangings to terrorize and control black men. Other hangings were official as a way to instill a public awareness of the legal authority of the state, which exercised the exclusive right to execute those who were wrongdoers.

Hollywood movies and television series screwed up my search for knowledge by portraying cowboy hangings in stories that celebrated and glorified the cowboys as an icon of masculinity. Of course, an adult might realize the what the movies depicted was only make-believe, but try explaining that to a young male who liked to read and who developed a vivid imagination.

Some of the historical accounts that I read mentioned how it was not unusual for a man being hanged to display an erection while on the gallows with a noose around his neck. Some accounts even reported that a man may even have an unwanted orgasm while his hands were tied behind his back as he waited to die. Surely, I thought, this could only have happened in ancient Persia or some far-off place. Not in the civilized United States!

Since I lived in the Western States, as I was growing up it was not unusual to see men in real life who would dress in traditional cowboy clothing—blue jeans with or without big buckles, leather chaps, well-worn cowboy boots, and, of course, the universally-appealing cowboy hat. I learned that I am not alone in my attraction to cowboys as icons of masculinity and the violence that cowboys endured.

You easily can find tourist attractions in our so-called civilized 21st century that make it possible for the general public to watch re-enactments of an outlaw cowboy being hung by the neck at the end of a rope.

I attended such a staged cowboy hanging outside of Las Vegas, Nevada, for example. There were tourists from as far off as Asia and as nearby as Arizona. We all watched the simulation of a cowboy being hanged that I captured in photographs. Two samples of my photographs are shown on this page. The full set of hung cowboy photographs is available for you here at MachoFace.com. 


I have also explored the subject of men on the cross in controversial illustrations.

Read more: Fear, evil, violence and sex have a linkage.

The gallery below shows many of my illustrations featuring men hung by the neck.

Gallery commands: “SL” button starts the Slideshow. “FS” button displays gallery in Full Screen mode. “i” button displays the text description.

This subject matter may seem familiar: When you were a young boy, some older, male adult told you that if you masturbate, you will grow hair on the palms of your hands. That is how we got werewolves–it was just ordinary males who jerked off too much and they grew hair all over the bodies until they morphed into wolves.  A scientific fact!

Who I am is a complex product of genetics, life experiences, and choices. From the very first time I understood what my erections were for, I struggled to understand my sexual identity and how I fit into the life I saw around me. Let me share my experiences and lessons learned.

Admitting that you are gay may not be the easiest thing you’ve ever done. We’ve all heard that. But, it is completely true.

If you are gay, deep in your heart and soul, you will know. People around you will know you are gay. Your mother will know. Several of your high school classmates will know. Choosing to lie to yourself and others about who you really are sexually will only make you suffer.

Why I am presenting this profile of myself is simple: Who I am as one who creates and publishes imagery of masculine males is directly related to my self image and how I became honest with myself and the world about my homosexuality.

Discovering You

I have met men who told me that from a very early age they knew they were gay. Today I realize that they are, indeed, the fortunate ones. Knowing early can spare a man many years–perhaps even decades–of emotional pressure, turmoil, and self-punishment. But getting to the point in your life where you know yourself and your sexual identity can take much time, especially if there are factors in your life that combine to confuse you.

Let’s be honest here. Conservative persons and most, if not all, organized religions have attempted for decades to brainwash us into believing that we gay people make a choice to be gay. We’re further programmed to accept the utter falsehood that making such a choice to be gay means we are choosing to be sinners.

Think about this. How can any person make a deliberate and conscious choice about their sexual orientation? Do you think that it is possible for any person to make a deliberate and conscious choice about whether they are right-handed or left-handed? Do you think that it is possible for any person to make a deliberate and conscious choice about what foods taste better to them?

Use the brains that you developed over many years. You can be a person who thinks for himself. I do. I finally grew to understand that biology is just biology. There is no sin in biology. There is no choice in biology. If you are gay, most likely you were born that way. If you are straight, most likely you were born that way.

Where choice enters in to this process is very much limited to a man’s choice to act upon his sexual orientation. Even though you may be born gay, you can choose to deny it. You can choose to act as though you were born straight. You can marry a female. You can produce offspring with the woman that you married. Doing all this if you are gay takes a lot of your time and energy that could be channeled into other endeavors in your life. I call such a waste of a gay man’s life and energy battling biology.

Finding the Natural Flow of Life

It’s important to understand that this effort to battle biology is nothing less than deliberately going against an essential flow of nature. It takes work to go against any flow if you are constantly pushing in the opposite direction. Battling biology will cause an imbalance in your life that nobody can continue for a lifetime. Such an imbalance may topple a man emotionally or sexually or both.

Of course, when you choose to stop battling biology, a good many things immediately must be dealt with. If you are a member of a mainstream organized religion, you will really be cooked. If you were raised Roman Catholic like I was, you’re in for an especially bad ride. Guilt and shame can really ruin your entire personality and demeanor, not to mention that it causes you to not be any fun at all to hang out with–in or out of bed.

The Lies Told by Major Religions

Mainstream organized religions look upon being gay as being in a state of wrongful conduct deliberately by choice. Some leaders of organized religion here in the United States use their belief about the alleged choice to be gay as the basis for spreading criticism, negativity and hate. The most stunning example of this is found in Topeka, Kansas, where there is a fraudulent “church” that has set up an infamous and offensive website. They are a group literally from the fringe element that uses the Internet to spread an unashamed agenda of hateful falsehoods. This is an extreme example of the ironic lies told by organized religions, but you should be wary of trusting in the so-called truths sold by organized religion–especially when it comes to human sexual behaviors.

Would you trust the advice and recommendations about world travel that comes from a person who never traveled outside the United States? Would you trust statements about how to manage your money from someone who had declared bankruptcy? Would you believe someone who gave you medical advice who had no medical degree or experience working in a hospital?

Why, then, do you believe religious leaders who tell you that if you are male and you have sex with another male that you are choosing to be a sinner?

Here is the Antidote to Falsehoods

You can choose to buy into falsehoods sold to you everyday by organized religion if you so desire. But, know this: They want your obedience and compliance. They want your money. They want to tell you whom you can love. But, you really do not need to buy into falsehoods pushed by organized religion, however. You can set yourself free by using your brain: Think seriously through why anybody would use organized religion as a way to control you and your life. They may say that they care about your immortal soul. But, what they really care more about is exerting control over you.

The day will arrive in the future when scientific findings disprove the long-held belief that the people choose their sexual orientation. Then, we can all begin to accept the reality (which some of us already accept) that biology, not willful choice, is what sets a person’s sexual orientation. In that future time, it will be very difficult for a religious person to be taken serious when they put down on gay people. It will, of course, always be possible for religious leaders or ordinary citizens to deride people for how they were born. Making fun of someone in a wheelchair is an example of that. But, can you think of anyone who respects the person who makes fun of someone for how they were born? No way.

In turn, people will one day not have a religious or spiritual basis for guilt and shame over their sexual orientation. And, I believe that ultimately the more progressive faith-oriented organizations will promote responsible sexual behaviors as the preferred way of life for all adults, rather than wasting time and energy passing judgment on a person’s sexual orientation. Some spiritual leaders and religious people today have already gotten a clue about this. It may be possible in the near future for medical science to alter a person’s genetics before they are born. If or when this becomes a reality, the next controversy will be altering an unborn baby’s genetics to make sure they are born heterosexual. Can’t you just imagine the bumper stickers to promote that kind of Nazi Germany style of human manipulation?

The Demands of Masculinity

As if dealing with your faith weren’t enough of a challenge when you stop battling biology, you will also need to face how your culture and your family environment defined being a man for you when you a kid. From the earliest days of my boyhood, I never had a solid definition of what a real man was. Unlike in my past, however, as an openly gay male, today I am sure that I do have a very clear definition of what being masculine means. However, the impressions I got while growing up were crystal clear: Real men were masculine and statuesque figures like you can see in depictions of ancient warriors. Except, of course, real men were also comfortable with guns. This may explain why I was confused and why it took me many years to admit that I am gay.

I struggled under the then-prevalent Roman Catholic perspective on masculine sexuality: Sex is solely for married people and is strictly for producing babies who will grow up to be what the Roman Catholic Church actually referred to as Soldiers for Christ. I was never clear as to why there was a military spin put on that, but I assumed that soldiers were expected to go out and fight somebody for some reason. The Roman Catholic Church also taught in those gloriously innocent days that even though you may be a soldier fighting on behalf of Christ or whatever, you body was not own. If you, as a male, dared to “touch yourself in an impure manner,” you were committing a terrible sin. In other words, when I was growing up, masturbation was considered something terrible by the Roman Catholic Church. Masturbation. Of all the problems in the world–hunger, poverty, birth defects, illiteracy–the Roman Catholic Church chose to be so upset about masturbation?!

The Worship of Testosterone

Adding to the warping influence of Roman Catholic dogma that I accepted during my youth, I grew up in a Portuguese-American household in the West in the 1950′s. In that culture there was no room for anything but macho and tough males, who were expected to produce babies. Of course, this was intended to happen after getting married, never before. The more tough you looked and acted, and the higher the number of offspring you generated, the more masculine you were perceived to be in that culture.

This worship of testosterone runs hot and freely in many other ethnic groups, but it is particularly evident in those of Mediterranean origin like mine. My dead grandfather was a noteworthy example of what feminists in the 1970s started uncharitably calling “testosterone poisoning.” He was remembered as a role model of a man’s man.

I never knew him since our lives barely overlapped. What I learned of him came from my mother, who was his daughter. He produced four offspring in his short lifetime, if you wish to evaluate his masculinity using the scale of testosterone worship of his era.

He was born and raised in “the old country” — the Azores Islands in the Atlantic Ocean west of Portugal. The men from the islands were physically big men, who were also strong and powerful. He was like that. My mother told me he could win any fist fight with any man. He could drink any man under the table, she said.

In his early 40′s he achieved the pinnacle of his machismo. One night after getting drunk, he blasted a double-barrel shotgun at point-blank range into my grandmother’s face. Then he fired the shotgun into his own mouth.

I was 19 before my parents told me of this family tragedy. I was appalled, of course, yet I couldn’t help but wonder if my grandfather’s traits of machismo flowed in my blood. When I measured myself against him, it turns out I only got into two fist fights in my entire life (in elementary school). And, to date I have produced zero offspring.

Through my teenage yeas, I had low self-esteem and perceived of myself as never being “masculine enough”. After I came out, I learned that gay men of Portuguese extraction are highly valued for their masculine endowments. Well, after all, I am a descendant of the island men, and if you were following closely what I wrote, you will remember the part about the physically big men from the Azores.

Homosexuality is Wasted on the Young

All around us today online it is impossible to miss the clear message that homosexuality is considered for young people. Don’t buy into that, however. If you know where to look (like the website you’re now visiting), you can find material for mature gay males.

I did not spend my youth in homosexuality, however. As other baby boomer men like me have done, I just could not or would not accept that I was a gay man. So, I got married to a woman when I was 29 as a way to prove to myself and to the world that I was straight. During our 12 years of marriage I never had sex with any other person. I got out of the marriage following my wife’s problems with alcohol and prescription drugs to ease her chronic depression, which distracted me completely. I never got the opportunity to learn within my marriage that I was not a straight man like I had been deceiving myself, my wife, and everyone I knew in those days.

For five years following my divorce, I was frustrated with how unsuccessful I was at making rewarding emotional and sexual connections with women. I kept insisting on believing that I was a straight man. This was literally a full-time lie that I chose to live with. Yet, my fantasies were always about having sex with men. I could not break free from the self-deception. It owned me, plain and simple.

The World Wide Web emerged at that same time as an instantaneous resource for information and recreation. I began to surf online and found myself enjoying numerous websites tailored specifically to gay men. Yet, I kept telling myself that I was straight. I chose to believe that my Internet activities–such as downloading pictures of men having sex with other men–was nothing more significant than something I did with my computer at night in the privacy of my own home. What a liar I was! I did not realize the extent of my lies to myself.

When my mother died suddenly at age 66, the shock jolted me into an in-your-face and non-theoretical understanding of how mortal we all are. Immediately after her passing, a 65 year-old male colleague of mine needed emergency heart surgery–a quadruple bypass. I was the very last person he spoke with after surgery. He did not survive but a few hours.

I was confronted with the clear and unmistakable reality that life can end without warning. This shifted my priorities almost overnight. When you learn so suddenly by the loss of loved ones how life is powerfully precious and temporary, your life gets rearranged, whether you want it to be rearranged or not. Such a significant emotional experience teaches you very quickly that there is no longer any room for lies in your life.

If you have been denying that you were born gay, eventually your religion, your culture, your upbringing, your environment, and your family become less important when compared to accepting yourself totally and honestly. As I did, you may wake up and realize deeply that battling biology means you are not really alive at all and maybe you never were. And so you make the choice to stop lying and start living for the very first time. You can learn the simple truth that a real man is someone who gives to the world more than he has received regardless of which gender is sexually attractive to him.

Expressing Your Sexual Idenity

Some people choose to believe that gay men recruit other men “to become gay” by using the tools available on the Internet. Think about that for a moment. What a completely silly and illogical belief that is! Either you are born gay or you are born straight. Sexual orientation is hard-wired into a person’s essential being. Sexual orientation is fixed forever and what turns you on sexually is not subject to willful choice. No organized religion, website or medical professional can turn a gay person straight. Anyone who believes that changing one’s sexual orientation is possible is delusional.

My recommendation is to express yourself. That is why I am a man who creates controversial imagery for gay adult men to view. Not everyone can produce visual works, but wherever your own individual creative talents may be, I urge you to bring them into the forefront of your life.

I cannot adequately express how relieved I felt when–thanks to the Internet–I realized that other men out there had thoughts and fantasies like I was having. I learned that there are other men out there who enjoy visual images of masculine men like I do. For over 40 years, I had allowed myself to be convinced that somehow I was a freak–the only man in the whole world who had the sexual orientation that I have.

And so, I am pleased I can share with you what I have experienced. I hope that I might reach at least one other man out there whose battle with himself can come to an end. There really is no time for lies we may choose to tell ourselves. It is better to stop battling biology and live in truth.

Read my interview with a man who concealed being gay for far too long. I also have opinions as a gay man about what it means for gay men when they think of being masculine.

MachoFace.com is a 100% free site where it is always hot no matter what season you may be in at the moment.

Images of Masculine Men in Extreme Situations of Peril and Danger

What I do is create digital illustrations depicting masculine males (like bodybuilders, cowboys, soldiers) often in extreme peril and danger. See what I mean in these galleries:

• Hung Cowboys
• Men on a Cross

At the heart of my work is the preference for macho men, the gay male fetish, gay male bondage and S&M themes, and the attraction that many gay men have for highly masculine males.

I combine my own original photography with digital depictions that I create using a computer. The resulting renders approach the visual realism of photographs. I work hard to express myself through illustrations that feature realistic human characters placed into imaginary or fantasy situations with true-to-life lighting, shadows and everyday physical objects. The outcome for you, the viewer, is a stunning and compellingly realistic experience.

For the Gay Adult Male Audience

The young men that I choose to depict in my original stories and illustrations are from various races. My men usually are shirtless or completely naked to show off their impressive bodies.

You are in my intended audience if you are a gay male of legal age who is attracted to masculine men and you enjoys looking at masculine male imagery and reading sexy man-on-man fantasies involving masculine men. MachoFace.com is produced to appeal to gay adult males. This is why you will see digital illustrations here, most of which have simulated male nudity and other gay adult male oriented depictions.

Sexy Free Fantasy Downloads

You can download several free eBooks that I wrote and produced to explore same-sex masculine male attraction from the perspective of an illustrator and storyteller. These are colorful, fun and very sexy pdfs.

My eBooks are viewable using any pdf reader on your computer. This allows you the added feature of zooming in to see details in my naked men images that you cannot see on any website.

So, if you’re interested in discovering more about my highly masculine male illustrations and seeing some stunning imagery that you will long remember, please stop by my Fantasies section of this website.

Erotic Illustrations

There are several men whose erotic illustrations are worth examining especially if you enjoy the work that I do: Bondageskin is the artist name of a German man who creates unforgettable imagery of hangings and men on the cross. Dom “Etienne” Orejudos was an American artists whose hand drawn images will make a lasting impression upon gay men. Greasetank was the artist name a man from Texas who produced many violently erotic images using a computer. McPhee from the United Kingdom, is a digital artist and storyteller of interest to gay men because of his respect and admiration for highly masculine males. Telamon is the heir apparent to Greasetank for his digital illustrations showing executions of men. Tom of Finland is perhaps the most famous of the erotic artist for gay men of the 20th century. Ulf, from the United States, is a true genius of digital illustrations of interest to gay men. All of them have inspired me.

Madeira Desouza’s Sliding Scale

This will piss off some people, but here goes anyway. These are my views as a gay man.

On one side of my sliding scale is femininity and behaving womanly or womanish. On the opposite side is masculinity and behaving manly or mannish.

You may want or need some examples to help clarify the extremes of my sliding scale, so let me offer some examples that are available from the world of cinema (and you can rent these on DVD). The 1978 film La Cage aux Folles (in French) and the Americanized version in English, 1996’s The Birdcage, are two films that will explain everything to you quite vividly and with much humor.

On the feminine side of the scale (in the two films and in real life) one can find gay males who choose to behave in an overt, demonstrative yet passive manner using soft, higher pitched voices with the occasional lisp or sibilance (hissing sounds when using the English letter “S”) or other exaggeration of consonants and vowels. That side of the scale features behaviors that rely upon sweeping arm gestures, limp wrists and touching one’s own face to draw attention to emotions and emotional intensity.

On the masculine side of the scale (in the two films and in real life) one can find gay males who choose to behave in comparatively more aggressive ways than the other side of the sliding scale, particularly in ways that emphasize strength, muscles and dominance. That side of the scale features the choice of using gruff voices in a lower pitch with no lisping and no sibilance. Instead of touching one’s own face, the touching usually is to one’s own crotch or chest or forearms to draw attention to physique and physical strength.

Using this sliding scale, I think that it is very easy to place every gay male that you happen to meet at one point or another between the extreme feminine side and the extreme masculine side. While some of you may consider this cultural stereotyping (a “good” or “bad” thing, depending on whether you are being stereotyped), at least this sliding scale offers you a way to pinpoint gay male behaviors and outward appearances.

After many years of observation, I have come to believe that a gay or straight man can choose how he behaves in terms of his outward appearances—the high or low pitch of his voice, the submissive or dominant physicality, the clothing that emphasizes his body, the self-touching that emphasizes emotional intensity or physical intensity, and, whether he elongates vowels and favors the hissing sound of the English letter “S”.

The question as to why some gay men choose the feminine rather than the masculine side is open for a lot of discussion.

I invite you to comment below right here on my blog about these issues.

You can choose to use the sliding scale to begin to understand gay mens’ outward appearances and discuss these traits with others. There are, of course, many points along the axis of this scale from one side of the other: I have seen drag performers (men who dress and behave in a show as if they are women) who are not necessarily homosexual; but, they use makeup, wigs and womens’ clothing as part of their act to entertain audiences. I have also seen gay males who are not drag performers, but who where facial makeup (eye lashes and eye liner and lip color) along with fingernail and toenail coloring like women do. I have also seen gay males who look muscular and athletic and based upon all outward appearances, they could be drafted this week into the National Football League.

As a gay man, whatever type of man you find emotionally and/or sexually attractive is an individual trait that I believe is not subject to our willful choice. I believe that being gay brings with it many turn-ons and turn-offs that we must eventually admit if we are honest with ourselves.

The way psychology and sexuality work together in us humans, I really don’t see how any of us can make willful changes to what turns us on or what turns us off. We can try new or different things on a short-term basis, of course, We also may learn to tolerate things that we don’t like too much—like finishing our broccoli because we know that green vegetables help bolster our nutritional health.

But, if we truly are turned off by the taste of broccoli, well, there’s probably little that we can do except smother the dreaded green vegetables with a lot of cheese and just keep eating them.

Read more on my website.

That was how I developed an eye for composition and for telling a story within the frame, so to speak. My aptitude and attitudes as a digital illustrator apparently had to wait for technology to enable me to express in images what I, as a trained photographer who happens to be a gay man, can see in my mind’s eye.

I cannot photograph an angel in an alley getting a blow job from a mortal man because angels do not exist in the physical world. In your mind and in my mind, however, it is possible to envision an angel getting his cock sucked. Using digital imaging tools, I am able to create such a scene and I can share this impossible view here with certain realism.

Who Approves or Disapproves

I accept that some people consider the illustration work that I and others do using computers to be anything but artistic. Such criticism typically is rooted in the fact that this kind of illustrating is not manually drawn or painted with brushes on canvas.

So, you may concern yourself with “what is art” versus “what is not art” if you wish. But, I don’t concern myself with what others think. I just keep on creating what I create without dwelling on who approves or disapproves of me.

More to the point, I see myself for what I really am: a gay adult male illustrator and storyteller who chooses to take on controversial and dangerous subjects like sexually aroused angels and hung cowboys. I fully realize that my choice of subject matter means that you will either like what I do or not. I doubt that you will have a neutral response to my work. It will not surprise you to learn that I do not try to please the largest possible audience with my work. I just do what I do and make it available for those who want to experience what I create.

Nothing makes the night more memorable than watching naked men dancing.

Reposted from Gawker:

On his way to an appearance on a grilled cheese sandwich, Jesus took a wrong turn and found himself in a Portuguese brothel. What would Jesus do? Here’s Portuguese Playboy to answer this urgent question with NSFW photos. To mark Nobel-winning writer Jose Saramago’s death, Portuguese Playboy took inspiration from Saramago novel The Gospel According to Jesus Christ—a fictional reimagining of Christ’s life as a flawed human—with explicit images showing Jesus…next to a street hooker…[and more]…

This certainly puts the “ho” into “evangelho” doesn’t it!?

——————–

Madeira Desouza: Although you certainly must be accustomed to being in the public eye as an actor and an acting instructor, how do you feel about being a role model as a 50 year-old single father with an adopted daughter?

Michael Kearns: One of my smart ass friends said, “You’ve been famous for everything else, you might as well be famous for getting old.” He was referring, of course, to my being an openly gay actor who is publicly HIV-positive. I worry about the “role model” title; while I find it flattering, I don’t feel like a role model. I’m just living my life. But I do think it’s important, on a number of levels, to let gay men know it’s okay to adopt and it’s okay to turn fifty. And, most importantly, life doesn’t end at age 32 as some within the gay community would like the rest of us to believe.

Madeira Desouza: Did you seek out the opportunity to be in the national “be yourself” advertising campaign as “activism” as a gay man, or, did this come about for other reasons, such as professional career aspirations?

Michael Kearns: I didn’t seek it out, period. Someone sent me an email (I barely remember this happening) and said they were looking for people fifty or over with interesting lives. I sent a one-sentence description and they got back to me. It was the easiest “audition” I ever had. I then took the assignment seriously–as a gay man who has been in the public eye for more than half of my life, I felt it was a definite statement. Yet another coming out as it were. No one in LA tells their real age. As for “professional career aspirations,” I really don’t have any. I take care of a six-year old. My career aspirations are blurred and that’s fine. I make a living by doing a wide variety of things, and I’m (thank God) not limited to show business. Or acting.

Madeira Desouza: What responses you have received as a result of being in the “be yourself” national advertising?

Michael Kearns: The responses have been largely positive. But I think people are so inundated with “stars” that it’s here today, gone tomorrow. Does anyone really look beyond the fact my picture is in the paper? I’m not sure. It’s all dispensable, isn’t it?

Maybe the people (gay men, in particular) who see it, and are inspired by it, aren’t living in Los Angeles. I also get a lot of snide comments because gay men can be so jealous. In this town, everyone is a wanna-be (hairdressers, massuers, columnists) and my picture is splashed all over the place. They resent me. Also, I’m a survivor. While you’d think that would be reason to celebrate, I honestly feel some of my peers resent it. “He’s still alive?!? And he’s not fat?!?”

Madeira Desouza: Based on your own life experiences, what would you want to tell us mature gay men about how we should live our lives?

Michael Kearns: I’m not sure I’m in the position to tell anyone about how to live their lives. But I do feel that I have some clues. First and foremost, come out. A million times. About any secret you’re keeping. I had to come out about wanting to be a dad; it was a very confrontational experience for me. I initially had very little support. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Honor your journey for what it is: uniquely yours. Concentrate on what’s inside at least as much as on what’s outside. (In other words, consider a trip to the library after the gym.) Don’t forget that you’re queer and assimilating is a dismal choice. Don’t be afraid to be bold, revolutionary, edgy, odd, silly, loud, questioning, demanding, vocal.

When he was 45, Michael Kearns encountered difficulties attempting to adopt a child because he was “the first openly gay and HIV positive actor in Hollywood.” A June 1999 web page, shows Kearns with his six year-old daughter, Tia, and presents a short article on the difficulties he had adopting her appears in the larger story of family issues associated with the gay community.

In his younger years, Michael Kearns was a male model who appeared briefly in one 1979 gay porn film, LA Tool & Die, and, using the name Grant Tracy Saxon, was the author of a book about being a male hustler. The book, Making Love: The Happy Hustler’s Intimate Way to Bisensual Lovemaking, is out of print today.

In addition to the “be yourself” national advertising campaign during October 2000, Michael Kearns also appeared that month in a gay mens’ magazine, Unzipped, in an article he wrote about maintaining a gay man’s sex life while being a responsible single father. Since those days, Michael Kearns has appeared in numerous mainstream motion picture and television productions, including Beverly Hills 90210, and other products listed online within the International Movie Database.

He Knows He is Gay

Yet, he remains closeted. After decades of pondering what to do about his sexual orientation as a gay male, he’s reached into his eighth decade of living. Nobody knews his secret until he spoke with me.

I ask you to think about this one question as you read this interview: What will you say to the next gay soldier that you meet?

————————————–

What’s Wrong With Being Gay?

DLS: I am an eighty-something year-old homosexual man who, at an early age, buckled under the religious, social and economic prejudices and pressures of the 1940s through 1960s. In fear of exposure and its shame and pain, I denied my gayness even unto myself. I took cover within an ill-conceived, eventually miserable, inescapable, and long since sexless marriage to a woman. Only now do I know and understand the harm I’ve done to myself, and possibly to others. I seek now only to caution others not to do what I have done, and to say those who listen to the religious right: Please ignore those who would warp your soul to make themselves feel good about theirs.

Madeira Desouza: Why do you feel as you do?

DLS: Personally, I do not believe that the sexual persuasion each of us is born with is “curable.” It manifests itself through our inherited genes — genes encompassing our physical, psychological, spiritual, and sensually sexual incarnation. Our sexual persuasion is passed along to us from the genes our parents gave us. It can be denied, it can be closeted, or even be rejected through celibacy. I suppose it can be curtailed.
But it cannot be “cured” because it’s not an “illness,” it’s a character trait, a personality trait.

The simple, intelligent realization for most homosexuals is that they got it naturally. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. This new doctrine of “religiously-cured homosexuals” is nothing more than the attempts of organized self-righteously puritanical boneheads seeking to persecute us. It comes from their attempt to promote a phony cause involving a political power push and bigot-dominated churchly fund raising.

Madeira Desouza: When and how did you became aware that your sexual orientation was towards other males?

DLS: My parents were divorced, and I was an only child living in the New York area with a working mother who had little time for me. Until I was 15, she deposited me in private schools…and while I didn’t know it for a long time, homosexuality was prevalent (mostly the older boys conquering the younger susceptible ones.) I started having “inclinations” toward other lads when I was 13 in 1938. At first, I didn’t understand what or why…

Madeira Desouza: What do mean by “inclinations?”

DLS: Soon enough I understood and was surreptitiously eyeballing boys my age and older, while desperately avoiding eye contact, wherever I might notice them…on a bus, in a restaurant, anywhere, especially the traditional school gym locker room or shower (the nakedness was intoxicating and eventually a lot happened in those environments…), but bare or in overcoats and earmuffs…if the attraction were there it was overwhelming and the relief was through fantasy…him and me!

And always, I was afraid of discovery, exposure and even of being laughed at, ridiculed and/or beaten up. I guess you could say one “score” wasn’t worth the risk of the negatives. I didn’t really “take the risk” until I was 15…in 1940, and then only because the other boy realized I was attracted to him and he took the initiative.

So the inclinations, simple enough, were stifled urges to touch and taste…and to be touched and tasted. I wanted to be held, hugged, cuddled, I wanted my body titillated by fingers, tongues and tight embraces, I longed for it, and sometimes cried because I couldn’t find someone like me.
It’s not true “I can tell a fag a mile away…” and I was a berg of frozen, innocent ice to approachers I didn’t want. I had to care for the boy, not just “do it.”

Guess I was too persnickety in my approach. You know, most of the boys in private school in those days were children of either well-to-do but broken homes or of parents who traveled the country and the world in business and social endeavors. Many of us were lonely this way but didn’t know how to go about obtaining the companionship.

Actually, when I’d see a boy I really liked it was like I’d fallen in love and wanted to do anything that pleased him and to be pleased that way by him. It’s still that way with me. I was then and was always “oral” by preference and “anal” only on demand if I really and truly wanted to please at any discomfort to myself.

You Have Known You Are Gay

Madeira Desouza: Because you have known you are gay for over 60 years, it must have been very difficult on you. And that difficulty must have taken it’s toll on you.

DLS: It is psychologically agonizing and physically wearying. The original shame or embarrassment of realization long since gave way to shame and embarrassment that I didn’t have the courage to come out and be me.

Certainly, once I had my first sexual experience with another man, I was active until the time came to take stock and make the big decision — and I guess I made the wrong one. But when I was coming into manhood, being “queer” was terrifying and so many of us either married “to have a cover” or, as I did, to “cure myself” and be “straight and normal.”

While I’ve done that outwardly, it has been especially damaging to my psyche because I am still truly vulnerable. By that I mean…frequently attracted to someone who reflects my fantasies and needs. Vulnerable.

That’s psychologically and physically demanding…and frustrating. There’s always the thought of “would a man want me?” or “what will he do if I let him know I’m attracted to him and he gets angry?”

That sort of thing…the fear…with me it comes from those years of denial and not overcoming the desire. And, of course, now I have children and grandkids to consider. In my anxiety to “put on a straight face,” I apparently became a straight-laced old prude.

Truly, I’ve never uttered a word against gays because I know I’m one, and I understand and admire the ones who come out. They are heroes. Yet, my kids and grandkids are straights with no apparent prejudices. But I don’t think they could accept me as gay and I love them too much to “test” them by coming out.

You Knew You Were Gay But You Married a Woman

Madeira Desouza: You knew you were gay, but you chose to marry a woman. What do you feel now about that decision?

DLS: I was somewhat of a slut in my youth, but I actually stayed “straight” for more than 40 years following my marriage in 1951. I am still married to her. By mutual agreement, my wife and I haven’t been intimate in many years. We stayed together because of our kids. I couldn’t satisfy her sexually because she was a woman and I am gay. She interpreted it as my being cold and indifferent; so we stopped having sex. We’re used to each other as “house mates,” we don’t like each other but we stay together…and that’s it. She doesn’t know, not even suspect, her husband’s gay. .

I was loyal (and fruitful) throughout my marriage until a few years ago. That was a weak moment of sexual loneliness, when I made out twice with a casual, but healthy, acquaintance whom I met through a gay neighbor.

It was heavenly, the first time in many years. A short time later, the life partner of that gay neighbor passed away, and in the throes of comforting the survivor, I acquiesced to his request for special comfort.

We saw each other twice and then I withdrew, actually, we’d known each other 10 years and didn’t really like each other that much. I realized his attraction to me was more a grieving reaction to the loss of his life partner.

That neighbor moved away shortly afterward. I wasn’t “in love” with either of those gents — the first was 56, the second 63. I was was lonely and horny. I’m still a married family man. Truthfully, I think about sex every time I see someone to whom I’m attracted. But just don’t know even now how to initiate the dance.

Although 80 plus, I’m able to get erect and perform, although it takes longer. And that’s easily referred to as “preliminaries” now. Obviously, I’m into self-gratification because there’s no help around.

At this time I do not have one gay friend. There’s no one in whom I can confide or with whom I can participate. And that is Hell.

Madeira Desouza: And you don’t have sex with your wife.

DLS: We have slept in separate bedrooms for over 25 years…I just fantasize for sex; My fantasies are into younger guys with good looks as much as good character. I confess although I’ve grown older, my “taste” for younger men hasn’t subsided. Although attractive older men are admittedly more suitable to my age group and would be welcome under the right opportunities.

It would be obscene and stupid for me to flutter over “very young” men at this stage. Someone in my own age group would be great, believe me, if there were mutual attraction. Hell, if you’re dying of thirst in the desert, you don’t complain if there’s no ice when you get a drink.

Back in 1946 to 1948, when I was first a 20-year-old civilian employee at the Pentagon, and later an Army buck sergeant there, closing at Arlington National Cemetery was maybe 11 p.m. I could pick someone up at Lafayette Park across from the White House or almost anywhere in DC. Ninth Street in DC was great for that in those days and always plenty of GIs.

I preferred young, rough Marines back then. The thing is, I had a 1936 two-door Ford V8 Coupe and I’d drive my companion to the cemetery where we’d simply park and walk among the various monuments and stones to a comfy secluded spot and get to know each other. A friend of mine who worked in the same section at the Pentagon, upon seeing me undressed at his apartment one night, swore he could read the imprint “Rest In Peace” on my back.

How This Particular Old Faggot Lives

Madeira Desouza: As I think about what you and I are doing here in this interview, I cannot help but feel that you must feel “unmasked” by this project.

DLS: You know, as I look at it, I am wearing a mask for anonymity and sitting there stark naked. You and your interview project pointed a flashlight into my closet to find out how this particular old faggot lives…and survives.

Even if you decided at the end to scratch this interview project and never publish one word, the experience has been a cathartic for me. Imagine having all this bottled up inside me all those damn years…not even being able to sit and talk to anyone about the couple of times I did sneak out of the closet and enjoy, and pop right back in. Exhilarating.

It does make me even more conscious of the fact I, myself, confined me to that dark space. It does make me wish there were some nice guy around with whom I could occasionally take time out from the straight life and be me to the fullest…but I’ve kept myself to myself so much I guess I don’t know how anymore.

I frequently think about the other “white-hairs” out there who really matter — the ones in similar plight but under different circumstances. What about the flaming gay blade who was courageously out and triumphantly happy all through his youth and mature years, but now finds he’s alone and lonesome ’cause his cuteness and looks are gone while his needs are still there?

What about just any of us old fags who still “want it” but are invisible in gay bars, and ridiculed and shunned on the net?

Compared to them, I’m really a nowhere man because I made my own prison and still refuse a pardon. Those old guys were part of the scene for decades. I think about them and now what’s happening to them.

Madeira Desouza: Did you get connected to the Internet in the hopes of changing your life? Obviously, going online has allowed you to really open up about your sexual identity in a significant way for the very first time.

DLS: I got a computer in 1996 and went online. Although my family thought it is great for the old man to “have an interest,” I was looking for the gay world stuff. I was hungry for it and knew it was my only non-rebukeable entry to that world.

I started by using AOL’s Planet Q and ONQ and through those began to really cruise. Foolishly, I believe, I entered my true age in my profile and when I did get into chat rooms, instant messaging and all that good stuff and felt some camaraderie and sense of community, I also discovered I was getting rejected and even cussed out.

One guy with whom I was “getting down and dirty” on IM checked my profile, saw my age and told me to get off the net because I was “a dirty perverted dog.” I signaled him a “Bow Wow” and checked out.

Later, I just deleted the profile, and I don’t venture into chat room contact anymore. I love to explore the pictures, the erotic stories and similar activities of a nonviolent or non-cultish nature — what I call “the good stuff,” such as erotic websites.

I don’t sign on with any pay sites because I’m protecting my anonymity, which means I’m a whimp when it comes to that. And honestly, I can’t afford the fees. I stick with all the free stuff I can get cheap.

Males Being Born Gay

Madeira Desouza: Yet, this exposure to the gay world via your computer and the Internet hasn’t changed your mind about coming out, nor about males being born gay.

DLS: If a guy is gay, recognizes it and goes with it that’s his choice, then good for him. If a guy is gay, recognizes it and decides to lead a straight life — or a life as straight as he possibly can — that’s his choice. But even leading a straight life, HE IS GAY.

There are gays like me who try to be “as straight as possible” and are miserable because it’s a wrong but maybe irrevocable choice. We are ashamed, psychologically diminished and in agony. Even if we salve our tortured inner self occasionally by backsliding (and enhancing our guilt).
Gay is gay whether you “do it” or “don’t.” Popeye the Sailor Man — the essential straight image — put it in perpetual perspective when he said, “I YAM WHAT I YAM AND THAT’S WHAT I YAM.”

That may not be a scientific conclusion, but it’s a fact. As for the Trent Lotts, Pat Robertsons and similar ilk of the religious right, they’re saying what constituents, contributors and other scared politicians and public figures want to hear.

I spent more than 20 years in the military, including duty in World War II. I also pulled a two-year duty in the Pentagon, eventually retired as a master sergeant. During that time I was a good soldier, a damn good one, with promotions, citations, etc. Retired with honor and integrity.

This nice married soldier was never suspected of such “obscene tendencies” as some would refer to them. In my time in the military (which ended in the 1960s), if a guy were determined to be gay he was kicked out the next day with either a medical or “less than honorable” discharge. I’ve known a lot of gay guys in the military (in my day we were called “Queers”) and they were great patriots and proud Americans — always hurt by the policies and, thus, living in fear. That hasn’t changed.

Choosing to Hide Homosexuality

Madeira Desouza: Has your perspective on being gay changed over the years?

DLS: No. I still believe now as I have always believed.

Madeira Desouza: What would you say to such a man if you had the chance? What would you say to a man about choosing to hide his homosexuality throughout most of his adult life?

DLS: One thing I would say is: I strongly suspect that among those staunchly crusading anti-gay parochial and secular “healers of homosexuals” in the religious right, there are those who would themselves like to explore homosexuality. As a result of their own misguided secret shame and frustration, that element probably seeks self-vindication by harder persecution of those they envy for “being gay” and loving it.

Damn, I hate that phrase, “You know you could change if you wanted to…” Perhaps those who would “cure us” would like to see us parading in ceremonial robes, much like the Chinese emperors’ eunuchs, those poor bastards who carried their castrated balls with them in lacquered boxes, hoping some day to be reunited with their testicles in an after life.

Looking back, and I often do, my homosexuality as a gay teenager was frightening and shameful to me. There were no gene theories, no guidance-giving support groups, no understanding family, nor sincerely straight helpful pastors to turn to. Of course it was also before the advent of today’s rabid anti-gay movements headed by bigoted politicians, preachers or other stupid do-gooders and sex-shunners who now demonize us. Still, the very environment was anti-gay because no one understood it or wanted to.

So, my adventures and affairs as a juvenile and later as an adult were secret, furtive. While orgasmically satisfying, they lacked the soulful, the ethereal luster of an open carefree interlude or relationship one could chat about or even brag about, or just remember and smile.

It was particularly agonizing (and hazardous) while I was in military service, it was absolute torture withdrawing completely from the lifestyle once I married — give or take a few indiscretions which left me trembling.

If I were counseling a hesitant homosexual in this day and age I would tell that person not to be ashamed, not to be fearful or shy, not to be cowardly or compromising. “Be yourself, Dude, be who and what you are and want to be and enjoy it .”

Gays know there’s no need for a “cure” ’cause they’re not ill, nor will God damn us all to Hell. But there are gays who marry for cover and think of fantasized partners while participating in heterosexual sex, as I did. Or, there are gays who fall in love with women and marry and enjoy it, and either simply put away their gayness or discretely manifest it away from home without torturing their souls. And of course there are the poor bastards who can’t make up their own minds which way to go and just fantasize and masturbate alone and unrequited.

Do be yourself, Dude, be who and what you are and want to be, enjoy it, and nurture your sanity, protect your body. If you don’t, you’ll end up lonely, frustrated, angry and in a self-destructive frame of mind — a soul-seared son of a bitch — in other words, a damn fool. It may still be “early enough” for you to change. Take it from an old man who has been there, done that, and made the wrong decisions.

See more now.

I started off studying photojournalism in college where I learned how to tell a story with imagery. Then, I branched out into creating digital illustrations. Some of my illustrations also contain photographic elements that I produced. Here are three galleries that provide representative samples of my photography of men.

The first gallery below shows my photographs of a cowboy being hanged for the entertainment of tourists just outside Las Vegas, Nevada.

Gallery commands: “SL” button starts the Slideshow. “FS” button displays gallery in Full Screen mode. “i” button displays the text description.

The second gallery below shows my photographs of men caught in candid shots just being themselves in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Gallery commands: “SL” button starts the Slideshow. “FS” button displays gallery in Full Screen mode. “i” button displays the text description.

The third gallery below, which contains some artistic nudity, shows my photographs of a redneck in the woods near Washington, DC.

Gallery commands: “SL” button starts the Slideshow. “FS” button displays gallery in Full Screen mode. “i” button displays the text description.

Gallery commands: “SL” button starts the Slideshow. “FS” button displays gallery in Full Screen mode. “i” button displays the text description.

Gallery commands: “SL” button starts the Slideshow. “FS” button displays gallery in Full Screen mode. “i” button displays the text description.

If you are someone who prefers to look at the pictures and skim over the rest, that’s okay. I do think you will miss out on a lot of valuable knowledge by skimming over the text in favor of the images, but I want your experience today in visiting my site to be positive.

So, here are quick links for you to get right to what you want…the famous MachoFace.com galleries:

A soldier, on his knees, knows this is the end of his life.

Alternate image:

Dijon Talton is one very unforgettable, sexy young man that is definitely someone new on TV worth fantasizing about.

Here is some of my sexy new stuff for you gathered together all on one page:

 ”The Last Thing You See”  After you foolishly beg him not to kill you, the naked young cowboy just smiles as he squeezes the trigger and sends a bullet into your brain before you can process what has just happened to you.

“Naked Chainsaw Fighters”  In the not-so-distant future, ruthless combatants will provide extreme sports fans with the most unforgettable spectacle ever witnessed on Earth in any era.

“Infidels” is a side trip into a completely imaginary world not like our own in which men are tortured and executed for religious reasons.

In a small Southwestern desert town, I buy a couple of cold draft beers for a young and lonely Army guy who is at a bar by himself. After small talk aided by American beer, I figure it is worth trying to convince the handsome and muscular soldier to accompany me back to a cheap motel across the street from the bar.

Somehow, he agrees! The next thing I know, the soldier is sitting on the edge of the bed and he is ready for action.

I will leave it to you to decide what happens next so that your fantasies can help you enjoy this special evening.

This illustration is called “Caught in the Showers” and it attempts to capture the emotions displayed by two muscular and horny guys who thought that they were alone in the gym showers. So much for privacy! Their cocks are obviously ready for action, but they will not be able to take this to the next level now that some other guy has walked in on them.

I chose to use indirect lighting to pump up the dramatic impact of this scene. It would have been easier just to light this from above, but that would not have delivered the feelings that I wanted to convey.

As I envisioned this scene, the two guys turned off most of the lights in the shower to conceal their behaviors, so I needed to create a feeling of subdued lighting that washed over the entire scene prominently. I added in the majority of the steam directly while I was creating this illustration rather than inserting it in during post-production to add to the sense of realism.

Okay, time for me to give you one additional illustration of these two horny guys in the gym shower as a special bonus.

The more I thought about this couple at the gym together, the more I felt that I should not leave them with unfinished business.

So, I took this a few steps forward and show you that they finally get to make love in the steam! Makes you wish that you could jump in and join them, doesn’t it!?

Entitled “In His Dream,” this illustration is my psychological exploration into a particular fantasy that one young man has.

He is part of an away team in space. This science fiction themed illustration depicts the young male crew member dreaming about being taken advantage of sexually. He thinks that he cannot express to his crew mates what he wants from them sexually because he fears their possible rejection and retribution. He expects that they would beat him up at the very least.

So, rather than facing his desires directly, instead he fantasizes about his crew mates forcibly milking him and then fucking him. Perhaps they would enjoy sex with him if only they knew of his fantasy?

On the technical side of things, let me tell you that I invested several hours selecting and pointing the lights in this scene in order to accomplish the mood that I wanted. Too often I have seen 3D digital illustrations posted online that bathe the entire scene in a consistent bright light. This approach is the easiest and least time-consuming approach to creating digital illustrations. But, I happen to believe very strongly that shadows play a very important role in conveying particular moods in an illustration. This is why I spend extra time manipulating the lights so that the shadows end up positioned in the correct places.

This illustration also is my attempt to emphasize the sexiness of a masculine man’s feet. The young crew member is having an orgasm, so the toes on his right foot are curling to represent how a man’s feet actually look during ejaculation.

“Angels May Come” is the sarcastic name of this illustration.

I especially wanted to depict a “supernatural” tone to make the masculine angel’s orgasm more genuine and authentic. I created a flash of bright white light that surrounds the angel’s head–a visual reference to the classical depictions of halos for saints.

Also, you will note that the angel’s feet are very masculine and his toes are responding as they should to his ejaculation.

I had no religious theme in mind when I created this illustration and my only intent was to depict a masculine angel who is experiencing an intense orgasm brought on by a mortal man’s effective use of his mouth and fingers. This particular point of view certainly may certain offend some people who choose to believe the religious teachings that angels are sexless and without any need for pleasures that mortal men may indulge in. If angels actually do exist (which I think is highly unlikely) then I see no reason why angels should not enjoy sexuality like we mortals do. Taking this a step further, if angels have sexuality, then it follows that angels would especially enjoy receiving sexual favors from mortals as I have depicted. When I created this illustration, I wondered if an angel’s ejaculation would last longer and taste different in your mouth compared to those of ordinary human males?

This illustration is named “Upright” and I chose to render it without any colors to emphasize the power of the masculine male frame under stark, dramatic lighting.

Once again, I emphasize the importance of depicting a masculine man’s feet with the detailed respect that they deserve. I intentionally did not show this male’s cock and balls to force you, the viewer, to consider other aspects of his body.

He is tall and powerfully-built, with large hands. So, you can probably infer with some certainty that his cock should be thick and commanding. But, I left that to your imagination.

When I was creating this particular illustration, I thought about what I would personally find more enjoyable–fucking him, or, being fucked by him.

The subject is standing in a very dark room all alone. Is he vulnerable? Is anyone threatening him? If he is not being threatened, then why does he seem to be using his right hand to protect his cock and balls while attempting to distract attention away with his left hand? Is he about to be shot? Is he waving to a friend?

When a guy who speaks English says, “It’s all Greek to me,” that is his way of saying that he does not understand something in another language than his own. But luckily, imagery transcends language, so whether you know the Greek language or not, you will enjoy seeing the works that carry the name Telamon from Greek mythology.

This imagery may be disturbing to some, but others will be attracted to the erotic explorations of executing masculine men by methods such as hangings, firing squads, and the guillotine.

Explore the works of this artist further by going to this website’s LINKS section and look for the link labeled “Execution Channel (Yahoo Group).”

Back to Erotic Imagery Traditions

Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

Who is he, you ask? He is a world-class athlete.

If you watched the Bejing Olympics in 2008, you may have seen him representing his home country of the Netherlands in beach volleyball.

Congratulations to Bram Ronnes, the winner of The Macho Face of the Decade (2000-2009) from www.machoface.com!

Let’s all hope that you will pose for more nude photos in the years to come! Happy 2010!

If you are over the age of 16, you probably have never seen the Twilight films because those are for kids only. But, I suggest that the very hot young actor Taylor Lautner (pictured in the foreground with fellow werewolves in their human state) is one of the most memorable men of 2009 and also one of the most fuckworthy.

Whenever I see Lautner appear on television shows (no, of course, I did not see him in the Twilight films!), I get the definite sense that Lautner is gay.

Oh, by the way, Lautner will not turn age 18 and become of legal age until February 11, 2010. So, before that date arrives, if you fantasize about having your way with him, I think it’s more than just a little creepy.

One noteworthy element is that Blondbear chooses (as I do) to depict interracial coupling, which is not the conventional approach to gay male erotica.

His visual works deal with athletes and other masculine male icons, but he is not afraid to venture into creating fantasy characters.

Explore the works of Blondbear further using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

Back to Erotic Imagery Traditions

Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

His inventive visual works of men wearing clothing are not necessarily erotic. He also depicts females in several of his illustrations, which, as a gay man, I definitely find to be a turn-off.

However, I have included Lundqvist here specifically because his men (construction workers, cops, cowboys, soldiers) are the very definition of macho.

I feel that gay men who are attracted to masculine males will find Lundqvist’s unique artistic approach worth exploring.

Dig deeper into the works of Kurt Lundqvist at his “Project Firegun” site. You can go there from the LINKS section of this webiste.

Back to Erotic Imagery Traditions

Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

His visual works and storytelling focuses on muscular and masculine males, demonstrating his high respect and admiration for the male form.

McPhee is especially skillful at using 3D digital tools to create scenes with a high amount of detail supported by excellent use of lighting and shadows.

Explore the works of McPhee using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

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Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

His work aims for highly detailed photorealism, yet emphasizes hypermasculine males with very exaggerated anatomy that happens only in fantasy and surrealism.

Significantly, many of Ulf’s males are depicted as sexual objects and victims of authority at the hands of other men in power such as within Wild West, military or paramilitary situations.

Ulf does not shy away from depicting cock and ball torture and other more extreme violence against masculine icons.

Explore the works of Ulf further by using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

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Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

One young man believes he is dreaming when he sees himself with two other men on an away team in space. In his dream, the young man perceives that his crew mates tie his wrists behind his back, then milk him before they each fuck him. You are free to decide whether he is actually dreaming or not. Is he being forced to submit to his crew mates? Or, in truth, is he willing to let them take advantage of him?

Some technical considerations for you: This illustration uses complex, realistic colors and lighting to emphasize particular elements within the frame such as the right foot of the young man in the dream as he ejaculates. More about this image is found on the New Stuff page.

You sought the physical comforts of star fuckers even though you were married to a gorgeous young wife, who gave you two children. The disrespect that you have shown to women is stunning! Now, even a schoolboy will be able to understand that you, Tiger Woods, and all those other heterosexual men who cheat on their wives are the most insidious threat to the institution of marriage.

One of your Barbie doll whores bragged to the media about your endowment. Surely your rich man’s ego is sufficiently out of control that you must have allowed (encouraged) cell phone photos to be shot of yourself standing at attention. Men like you prove that money does not buy class. You, Tiger Woods, have just reached your life’s achievement: You have become the new abomination and in so doing, you have pushed us gay people out of that definition. We gay people must extend a sincere thank you, Tiger Woods.

His German website was taken down in 2008 due to censorship in that country. This artist’s work deliberately depicts surrealistic and improbably violent military-type executions involving sexualize torture in which a doomed man sports an impressive erection and experienced an unwanted orgasm before death.

The disturbing theme of a man in peril who gets sexually aroused and having an orgasm against his will is found frequently throughout the visual works and stories of many whose target audience is gay adult males.

Explore the works of Bondageskin further using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

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Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

 Greasetank greatly favors an exaggerated and/or surrealistic masculinity, most notably lengthy cocks. However, Greasetank’s males do not seem to have been intended by the artist to be necessarily attractive or appealing to the viewer.

Greasetank consistently depicted repugnant punk male behaviors, including hate crimes committed using automatic weapons. The sexualized torture and castration or genital impailings depicted by Greasetank is but a prelude to an inevitable and horrific homicide.

Similarly to Tom of Finland, Greasetank also embraced masculine imagery and homoerotica from the time of Hitler’s Germany to build many of his art works upon what we today refer to as Neo-Nazi themes.

Explore the works of Greasetank further by using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

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Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

The Hun is the name he chose to identify himself artistically and brand his incredibly expressive viewpoints. His work consists primarily of line drawings in old-school comic book style done in stark black, white, and grey tones. Others have colorized some of his works, a practice that I find unacceptable because colorization alters the artist’s original intent and efforts.

The most evident trait of the art of The Hun is the surreal and greatly exaggerated masculinity–particularly the characteristic overly large sex organs.

Next, one will be unable to escape the intense physical brutality of the sexual activities depicted by The Hun’s surreal art, which often shows powerful and muscular men taking full physical and sexual advantage of lesser men who are vulnerable and helpless.

Explore the works of The Hun further using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

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Then, I came upon the works of Gengoroh Tagame. Thankfully, Tagame (illustration at left) is still producing surreal art today for gay men that is shared over the Internet and in print media.

In Asia, the culture out of which gay art grew differs substantially from both the cultures of ancient Greece and Rome and the cultures of Europe and the Americas. Somehow, both Hasegawa and Tagame broke free from the repression of a deeply conservative Japanese culture and strict legal traditions to produce stunning art work that cries out to be observed by gay males. In the works of both Japanese artists, males consistently are depicted as icons of youth, high masculinity, and attractive good looks.

Hasegawa’s works feature disturbing violence in their surrealistic depictions of male sexual arousal preceding or during torture as a prelude to the victim’s certain death. Similarly, Tagame’s surreal art depicts harsh sexualized torture and brutality such as gang rape of men by men in military and/or prison settings, and frequently include hangings, castrations and impaling. It is easy for the uninitiated viewer to become overwhelmed by the intensity of the violence in the works of Hasegawa and Tagame.

Explore the works of Hasegawa and Tagame further by using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

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One can easily find artifacts online and in museums from both of those classic civilizations that depict male-on-male sexual behaviors, violence among men, and fear that men can cause.

Although the English word homosexual was not coined until the late 1800s, thousands of years earlier–with or without any name for it–the ancient Greeks and Romans accepted that human nature included men who had sex with men. That men did violence to other men and created fear in the hearts of men were also well known and accepted as a basic realities of life in those long ago times.

The image on this page was drawn in 1956 by George Quaintance (1902 – 1957) to honor how the ancients depicted masculine men with great respect and admiration.

Today, it is tempting for us to think that human nature and behavior has changed significantly over time, especially due to advances in technology to make our lives more civilized. But, when it comes to sex and violence, it probably would be wise to ponder whether human nature has really changed all that much over hundreds of centuries.

Explore gay male erotica and related subjects using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

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He is perhaps the most famous artist of the 20th century for gay adult men. His prolific creations, which were born of post-World War II European sensibilities, demonstrate a most definite respect for (and awe of) highly masculine males.

He also does not shy away from male-on-male brutality and violence in the context of sexual conquests. Tom of Finland is often remembered for his vividly depictions of the homoerotic aspects of Nazi Germany during the 1940s, especially uniformed men with intense masculinity.

He is also one of the most prominent artists to explore the gay male’s lust for masculine cowboys in sexual situations involving danger, fear, and violence.

The heterosexual majority certainly may choose to shun surreal depictions of male instincts and behaviors towards other males involving fear, violence, and sexuality. Yet, these were brought unashamedly to the public in print media during the middle of the 20th century by Tom of Finland.

What mainstream society chooses to avoid, however, should hold little persuasive value to us gay men, per se. We gay men have always known how to be honest about what we like and we are at our best when we go after what we like passionately. I recommend that we gay men should take time to learn about artists like Tom of Finland in his particular context in Europe during the era of Nazi Germany, but especially because his surreal masculine male art survived him and likely will be remembered for decades into the future.

Explore the works of Tom of Finland further using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

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Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

This artist who produced a prolific body of work under various names is remembered for his imaginary, surreal, exaggerated focus upon the male body, masculinity, and homosexual male sexuality. Others, like me, who attempt similar surreal works owe a debt to Orejudos for all the pioneering for which he was responsible.

Surprisingly, there are many gay men who never care to look at art that is intended for a gay male audience. I was one of them. Then, one day I accidentally saw the works of Orejudos while browsing online and I was blown away!

I immediately wished that I had taken the time to study gay art because I realized I had missed out on a terrific experience. Although Etienne worked primarily in black and white line drawings, to me, he seemed almost magical for the ways in which he knew exactly how to create surreal, exaggerated men who are so instantly appealing. As you can see in the detail image below, Orejudos demonstrated great skill in depicting highly masculine men’s bodies. He showed what he considered to be an ideal cock and balls, torso and feet, especially. He also knew how to create youthfully handsome and expressive faces. His works had a major influence upon me.

To be honest, there is also a troubling violence, men’s fear, and violation in many of the works of Orejudos. No question about that. Fear, violence and sex have a linkage that many people probably would rather deny and never consider. But, the linkage is there to be found. Without it, Orejudos could not have drawn the men and the situations that he drew. His efforts would have been disregarded had there been no connection whatsoever between fear, violence and sex.

This is a difficult and controversial matter that inevitably poses many tough questions about how and why sexualized violence can or should be an element of an gay male artist’s expression. Orejudos does not deserve credit or blame as the originator of these kinds of often disturbing visual depictions in gay surreal art. I think that he is notable because he bravely chose to create gay surreal art that some consider to be disturbing. The choice by an artist to depict what is commonly known as “CBT” (cock and ball torture) or the more extreme cutting off or mutilating of men’s genitals is one that many in the audience may find shockingly disturbing.

Explore the prolific works of Dom Orejudos under his various pseudonyms using this website’s LINKS section for gay adult men.

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Presenting samples of the visual work of others on this website is for research, critique, and scholarship as generally defined under the concept of fair use.

     Happy Holidays!